Utterly ridiculous jokes

The deadly dozen

1⃣
Prabhu
Yeh  kya Moh-Maya hai?

Apna Baccha roye, toh dil me dard hota hai.
Aur doosre ka roye, toh sir me!

Apni Biwi roye, toh sir me dard hota hai.
Aur doosre ki roye, toh dil me! 💘😜😝

Sab prabhu ki maya hai

2⃣
A Man praying in 👏👏
Kumbh Mela...

Hey Prabhu, nyay karo...👏👏
...Hey Prabhu, nyay karo...👏👏

...Hamesha bhai-bhai bichhadte hai kumbh main...

Kabhi pati-Patni per bhi try karo😜😁😁.                           

3⃣
Wife : jaanu, kaash aap msg hote,
main aapko save karti, jab chahe padhti.

husband : kanjoos hee rahiyo,
Save hi karke rakhiyo, apni kisi saheli ko forward na kariyo 😜😝😁!!!     
  
4⃣
Husband : Kaash main Ganpati hota. Tum roz meri pooja karti, mujhe laddu khilati, bada mazaa aata.

Wife : Haan, kaash tum Ganpati hote. roz tumko laddu khilati, har saal visarjan karti, naye Ganpati aate, bada maza aata 😜😀!!!

5⃣
Agar aapki wife aapka kehna nahi manti hai to..😯😯
.

.

to..😏😏
.

.

.

.

.

Itna dhyan se mat padho,
kisi ki nahi manti...✌😁✌😋✌🔫😆✌😎✌😂b
.
.
Iska koi solution nahi hai.
❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌

6⃣
Wife: Janu kya main tumhare sapnon me aati hu.
Husband: Nahi.
Wife: Kyun?
Husband: Main "hanuman chalisa" padh kar sota hu.😄😜

*******************
7⃣
Unmarried boy: "Mujhe shaadi nahin karna. Mujhe sab aurato se darr lagta hai."

Father: "Kar le beta, phir 1 hi aurat se darr lagega baaki sab achhi lagengi."
😛😛😜😜😜😜😛😛
❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌

8⃣
Assistant: "Sir, Aap Office Mein Shadi-Shuda Aadmiyon Ko Hi Kyu Rakhte Ho?"

Boss: "Kyunki Unhe Beizzati Sehne Ki Aadat Hoti Hai Aur Ghar Jane Ki Jaldi Bhi Nahi Hoti"
👏 😩 😝
🌽❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌

9⃣
Husband-  "tere baap ki jaley par namak chidakne ki adat gayi nahi?"

Wife- kyo kya hua?

Husband- aaj fir se puch raha tha "Meri beti se shadi karke kush to ho na?😉

😝😝
😡😡
😭😭

🔟
Touching story...
A husband and wife went for a walk. While walking husband got hurt by a stone and started bleeding. He looked at his wife, hoping she would tear her dupatta and tie it on the wound.

Wife looked in his eyes and said: Sochna bhi mat...
Designer piece hai!!!
😄😆😝😜

🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒

1⃣1⃣
Husband ko Market Jaate hue
Wife ne paise dekar kaha: Kuchh Aisi Cheez Laana jis se main SUNDAR Dikhu.👗👠🎀👓👛💄

Husband khud k Liye Whisky ki 2 Bottle Le Aaya..😜😃👌👏🌟
🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒

1⃣2⃣
Man : Sir, my wife is missing.
.
Postman : Yeh post office hai, Police station nahi.
.
Man:  Oh sorry . . . . . . . .
.
Sala khushi ke mare kaha jaau, samajh me nahi aa raha !!!

😄😂😜😜

Some more.....
Newly married👨 Husband: I had 10 affairs 💏before marriage!!
Smart Wife👩:  Mujhe pata tha ki jab kundli mein 36 ke 36 gun mile hain, toh aadate bhi zarur milengi...!
Wife Rocks !!! Husband Shocks !!!😱😱😱😱

🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇

SIR👴:- Whats difference between Coffee Shop & Wine Shop?
STUDENT👦:- Very Simple sir, Love Starts in
Coffee Shop, Love❤ Ends in Wine shop..
😬😬😬
🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓

Shaadi ke fifth anniversary par
husband brought white roses🌸 for wife..
Patni: Yeh kya White Roses kyon? Anniversary par toh🌹 Red Roses dete hai na?
Pati: Ab Zindagi me, Pyaar se jyada Shaanti ki Jarurat hai..
😬😂😂
🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

1 husband-apne marriage certificate ko
1ghante se dekh rah tha
Wife-tum 1ghante se kya dekh rahe ho?
Hubby: expiry date dhoond raha hu. Saalo ne likhi nahi..
😂😜😝😄😀😭😃😜😜😥😛😀😝😎😎