:::: Tapasya Walia Blog::::: Kuch Jokes sunaaye nahi jaate....

रिश्तों में हाल ही में सबसे बड़ा परिवर्तन ये हुआ है
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कि पहले मेहमान आते ही नोकिया का "पतले पिन वाला" चार्जर मांगते थे और अब सैमसंग का "चपटा वाला" मांगते है 😜😜😉😉

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Loyalty Tests...

Test 1:
Wife buys 12 underwears of same colour for hubby..🔻

Hubby- Why same colour sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.
Wife- Which people

Total silence...

Test 2:
A couple sees a hot girl.. 
Wife: So big, aren't they? 
Husband: Yes 
Wife: Are they artificial?
Husband: I think natural. 😎😎
Wife: Ear-rings & Natural?? 😕😕
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Total Silence 😐😐😐
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Best one
Test 3:
Men will always be Men -
Once a group of men decided to go for Tirth Yatra. Their guide explained to them that they might see some ladies bathing in open and they should not get distracted at all. When they see anything like that, they should just say HARI OM and move on. Next day they started the yatra and one of the men in the group said- "HARI OM" and rest of them said- "WHERE WHERE!" 😆😆😆... 😅 good night ....

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💥 🐔 Ziddi Murga 🐔💥

एक मुर्गा 🐓था..
बहुत जिद्दी था...

अपने मालिक को बहुत
परेशान करता था....

मालिक ने तंग आकर एक दिन
उसे एक टोकरी मे बंद
कर दिया....

पर मुर्गा 🐓 तो जिद्दी था...
पीछे से निकल गया....

मालिक को फिर गुस्सा आया...
इस बार उसने मुर्गे 🐓 को
पिंजरे मे बंद कर दिया.....

पर मुर्गा 🐓 तो जिद्दी था..
फिर पीछे से निकल गया....

मालिक को इतना गुस्सा आया
कि उसने मुर्गे 🐓 को मारा,
पकाया और खा गया....

पर मुर्गा 🐔 तो जिद्दी था....😜😜😜

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: One day Jonson an aeroplane cleaner was cleaning the plane' cockpit when he saw a 📕book entitled "How to fly an aeroplane for beginners. Volume One".

He opened the first page which said, "To start the engine, press the red button.".
He did so and the airplane engine started.
He was happy and opened the next page. "To set airplane moving press the blue🔵 button."
He did so and the aeroplane started moving at an amazing speed.
He wanted to fly so he opened the third page which read, "To let the aeroplane fly, please press the ♻green button."
He did this and the plane started to fly.
He was excited!!!!!!
After 20 minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land so he decided to go to the fourth page.

He fainted after reading the instructions…….
The fourth page read, "To learn how to land, please purchase Volume Two at the nearest bookshop!!!!

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Desperation is when one boy is in a taxi , A beautiful girl from his office texts him, "MOVIE TONIGHT?"

He types, "YES " ... suddenly a thief snatches his phone through the window and instead of shouting for "HELP!" ...

He shouts,

"Send maar...

Send maar saale ... phone leja magar send maar ! 

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A Woman driver's answer for not using INDICATOR...
"Why should I use Indicator? Where I am going is None of Your business"..

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Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Rubia went
straight to her grandparent' s house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and
comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, 'He had a
heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.

Horrified, Rubia told her grandmother that people nearly 100 years old having
sex would surely be asking for trouble.

'Oh no, my dear,' replied granny.! 'Many years ago, realizing our advanced age,
we figured the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to
ring..
It was just the right rhythm.. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous,
simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.'

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued,

'He'd still be alive if the fire engine had not passed by .....

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If u solve this, no one can stop u from IIM
Prove:
A+B+B+B+80+90=100
Try n Reply:

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A married man's prayer;

Dear God,

u gave me childhood,
u took it away.

U gave me youth,
U took it away.

U gave me a wife...
Its been years now,

just reminding u....😎

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GRANDMA IN COURT..Hilarious

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer!

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me.. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney (the opponent's lawyer)?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. ..Yes I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said: "If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to jail for contempt of court !!! 
😛

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Girl chatting online with unknown man ........

Man:

"Cud u giv me ur e-mail id ?"

Girl:

Sure........here it's...

"ihaveBF.ilovehim@getlost.com"

Unknown man:

Tks.....here's my e-mail id....

"imUrDad.aajtupitegi@gharpe.com" 