:::: Tapasya Walia Blog::::: August 2014

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Nwpali..

Nepali : 😑Uuu Shaabji, yeh shyam singh ka mobile ka dukaan kaha milega

Salesman: pata nahi

Nepali: 😑Address toh isi dukaan ka hai
Salseman: saale ye shyam singh nahi SAMSUNG hai.. 

4 Sardar train k piche baag rahe the..
2 chadh gaye,to train me logo ne kaha
"WELL DONE"
Sardar-khaak well done
Jana to unhe tha,
Hum to chhodne aaye the.


Sardar:Raat mujhe ek aadmi ne chaku dikhakar loot liya.
Friend:Lekin tere pas to hamesha Gun hoti hai.
Sardar:Wo maine chupa di thi, warna wo bhi chori ho jati


Sardar-Yaar ye
SENT MESSAGE
Kya hota hai?

Dusra sardar-Ghochu,
Bevkuf
Tune Hi Sardaro Ka Naam Kharab Kiya H

Sent Message Matlab

Khushbu Wala Message


Sardar teacher ne exam ke liye Question Paper banaya..
Paper dekhte hi saare bachche behosh ho gaye.!
Question the :
1. China kis Desh me he ?
2. 15 Aug kis Date ko Aati he ?
3. Green Rang kis Colour ka Hota he?
4. Tamatar ko Hindi may kya Bolte he?
5. Mumtaz ki Qabar main Kon Dafan he?



Sardar apni Billi se tang aa ke use
dur chhod aya.
Ghar aya to billi vapas aa gai thi !
Wo dusari bar chhod aya aur billi
phir vapas aa gai !
3rd time wo use bahut dur aur
complicated route pe chhod aya.
Vapas raste me usne apni biwi ko
phone kiya: Kya Billi ghar aa gai?
Biwi:Yes
Sardar: Us kamini ko bhej yahan,
main rasta bhul gaya hun....


Sardar park me baita tha
Friend:kya kar raha hai?
Sardar:badla le raha hu.
Friend:kisse?
Sardar: waqt ne muje barbad kiya
hai, ab me waqt barbad kar raha
hu...😀

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कुछ फकीरी मिजाज रखता हूँ,

अपनी ठोकर में ताज रखता हूँ,

फिक्र मुझे नहीं है कल की,

मैं तो मुठ्ठी में 'आज' रखता हूँ,

Defiants you

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Rubia went
straight to her grandparent' s house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and
comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, 'He had a
heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.

Horrified, Rubia told her grandmother that people nearly 100 years old having
sex would surely be asking for trouble.

'Oh no, my dear,' replied granny.! 'Many years ago, realizing our advanced age,
we figured the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to
ring..
It was just the right rhythm.. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous,
simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.'

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued,

'He'd still be alive if the fire engine had not passed by .....

Pati patni...

आखिर पति के लिए पत्नी क्यों जरुरी है??
.
.
जब तुम दुःखी हो तो वो तुम्हे कभी अकेला नहीं छोङेगी।।
.
.
.
हर वक्त, हर दिन तुम्हे तुम्हारे अन्दर की बुरी आदतें छोङने को कहेगी।।
.
.
हर छोटी छोटी बातों पर तुमसे झगङा करेगी, परंतु ज्यादा देर गुस्सा नहीं रह पाती।।
.
.
तुम्हें आथिॅक मजबूती देगी।।
.
.
.
कुछ भी अच्छा ना हो फिर भी तुम्हें यही कहेगी- चिन्ता मत करो, सब ठीक हो जायेगा।।
.
.
.
तुम्हें समय का पाबंद बनायेगी।।
.
.
.
ये जानने के लिए कि तुम क्या कर रहे हो, दिन में 15 बार फोन करके हाल पूछेगी।।
.
.
.
कभी कभी तुम्हे खीझ भी आयेगी पर सच ये है कि तुम कुछ कर नहीं पाओगे।।
..
..
चूंकि पत्नी ईश्वर का बना एक स्पेशल उपहार है, इसलिए उसकी उपयोगिता जानो और उसकी देखभाल करो।।

ये मैसेज हर विवाहित पुरुष के मोबाइल मे होना चाहिये ताकि उन्हें अपनी पत्नी की कीमत का अंदाजा होता रहे।।।।
👰👰👰

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"लोग कहते है कि I LOVE YOU दूनिया का most beautiful
msg है

लेकिन

"आ भाई पेमेंट ले जा"

इस msg जैसा सुख दूसरा कही नहीं है

Wats app faltoo jokes

❓❓आप इसमें से कौन से वर्ग में आते है?

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

1. Whatsapp मुर्गा 🐓🐓 ...:

रोज सबेरे, "गुड मोर्निंग"
के मैसेज देना और
लोगो को 'गुड मोर्निंग' बोल कर
जगाना इनका प्रिय काम है।

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

2. Whatsapp बाबा 👳👳:

ये सिर्फ भगवान के
ही मैसेज भेजते है और
प्रवचन करते फिरते है।

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

3. Whatsapp चोर 😎😎:

ये लोग दुसरो का
मेसेज forward करते है!

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

4 . Whatsapp देवदास 😋🍻😋🍻:

ये लोग हमेशा दर्द भरे और
निराशाजनक कविता भेजते है
और
अपना दुःख दुनिया को दिखाके
लोगों को भी दुखी करते है।

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

5. Whatsapp न्यूज रिपोर्टर 📰📰👨:

दुनिया में क्या चालू है,
ऐसी न्यूज ये लोगो को भेजते है।

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

6. Whatsapp विदुषक😜😉☺😊:

ये लोग उनकी जिंदगी में कितने
भी दुखी चाहे हो लेकिन सबको
reply करते है और मैसेज भेज
कर के हंसते रहते है ।

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

7. Whatsapp मौनी बाबा🙊🙊:

ये लोग चुपचाप मैसेज पढते है
और reply कभी नहीं करते है।

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

8. Whatsapp विचारक🙇🙇:

ये लोग अच्छे विचार अपने
मैसेज से लोगों तक पहुंचाने
का प्रयत्न करते है।

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

9. Whatsapp कवि और कवियित्री 🎶🎤🎤👨👯:

इनको कविता छोडके
कुछभी नहीं जमता है।
ये कविता भेज के लोगो
को बोर करते है।

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

10. Whatsapp चैटर📱💻📝📃:

इनको चैट के
बिना कुछ नहीं आता है
और जमता भी नहीं .,
Always online.

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

11. Whatsapp बन्दर🙈🙉🙊🐒🐒🐒:

ये लोग reply में कुछ भी
नहीं बोलते है सिर्फ हा हा ........
हि हि करते रहते है .

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

12 . Whatsap कलेक्टर🙌👐👤👤👤:

ये लोग सिर्फ जाईन करते है
पर कभी मैसेज नहीं करत
सिर्फ ग्रुप जाईन कर घूमते है।
👍😜😜😜😝😝😝😛😛😋😋😋

जल्दी फॉरवर्ड करो। मार्किट में नया है 😂😂😂😂.

Socho ap kya ho....😒😒👍

Train journey...

🚂🚋🚃🚋🚃🚋🚃🚋🚃

Life is like a journey on a train...
with its stations...
with changes of routes...
and with accidents !

We board this train when we are born and our parents are the ones who get our ticket.

We believe they will always travel on this train with us.

However, at some station our parents will get off the train, leaving us alone on this journey.

As time goes by, other passengers will board the train, many of whom will be significant - our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of our life.

Many will get off during the journey and leave a permanent vacuum in our lives.

Many will go so unnoticed that we won't even know when they vacated their seats and got off the train !

This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, good-byes, and farewells.

A good journey is helping, loving, having a good relationship with all co passengers...
and making sure that we give our best to make their journey comfortable.

The mystery of this fabulous journey is ;
We do not know at which station we ourselves are going to get off.

So, we must live in the best way - adjust, forget, forgive, and offer the best of what we have.

It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to leave our seat... we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.

Thank you for being one of the passengers on my train !

Have a very pleasant journey of life.........!
🚂🚋🚃🚋🚋🚃🚋🚃🚃

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Check out your Birth Date......
No Cheating.!!
31- Biggest Kamina.
30- Aadarsh Insaan.
29- Smiling Face Always.
28- Happy Go Lucky.
27- Name Bade Darsan Khote.
26- Intelligent Person.
25- Studious.
24- Can Make Others Jealous.
23- Always Ready To Party.
22- Nautanki.
21- Nalayak.
20- Sharif.
19- D Perfect Person.
18- Bazzigar.
17- Yaaro Ka Yaar.
16- Maa Ka Ladla.
15- Lafdebaz.
14- Can Play With Hearts.
13- Hero.
12- Lucky Person.
11- Smart Inshan.
10- Cutest.
9- Bade Dilwala.
8- Kamchor.
7- Good Person.
6- Caring N Loving.
5- Fattu.
4- Fun Loving.
3- Ajibo Garib.
2- Badmash.
1- Batmiz.
Plz reply wich 1 is urs...?
No Cheating...!!

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Special wife jokes

✒...if we lose a pen, we can buy new one; but if we lose a pen cap, we cannt buy it...so love your husband, coz all Dhakkans are important 

Always keep your husbands picture as mobile screen saver. Whenever you face a problem, see the picture & say: if I can handle this, I can handle anything!... 😛 

FinallyLiving with husband is a part of living.........but living with the same husband for years is 'art of living'!!!!!!!

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KADAK attitude...

Girl frnd Ne Msg Kiya: "Meri Photo De Do, Muje Naya Boy frnd Mil Gaya Hai".

Boy frnd Ne 30 Photo's Bhej k Likha: "Inme se Dhundh Lena Muje To Teri Shakal B Yaad Nhi"
😝😝😝😂😂😂
‬

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खतरनाक Jocks of the day

पत्नी (पति से)- मुझे 50 रुपये की जरूरत है!......

पति (गुस्से से)- तुम्हें रुपये से ज्यादा अक्ल की जरूरत है!!!!!

पत्नी- आपसे वही चीज मांगी है, जो आपके पास है! .....!!!

*************
एक आदमी की पत्नी मॉल में कहीं इधर-उधर हो गई।....

थोड़ी दूर यहां-वहां देखने के बाद वह एक खूबसूरत सेल्सगर्ल के पास पहुंचा और बोला - क्या आप पांच मिनट मेरे पास खड़े रहकर बातें कर सकती हैं?

सेल्सगर्ल- क्यों? इससे आपको क्या फायदा होगा?...???

आदमी- दरअसल मेरी पत्नी यहीं-
कहीं गुम हो गई है और मुझे दिख नहीं रही जैसे ही वह मुझे आपसे बातें करते हुए देखेगी सीधी गोली की तरह यहां चली आएगी!.....!!"

*************
जब 2 भारतीय युगल एक दूसरे से मिलते हैं तो---
पत्नियां एक दूसरे के कपड़े, गहने, हैंडबैग, फुटवियर, हेयर स्टाइल आदि को गौर से देखतीं हैं,.....!!

और पति क्या देखते हैं....????

..पति एक दूसरे की पत्‍नियों को गौर से देखते हैं .....!!!

*************

पत्नी-अगर मैं मर जाऊं तो तुम क्या करोगे? पति-शायद मैं भी मर जाऊंगा। .....

पत्नी-क्यों?....

पति-कभी-कभी ज्यादा खुशी जानलेवा होती है.....!!।

************
आज का सुविचार..
पानी में गई हुई भैंस
और
शोपींग मौल में गई औरत
कभी जल्दी बाहर नहीं आती...
🐃🐃🐃🐃🐃

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K!ller_
Wife will be Wife

Wife: Apke birthday ke liye itne mast kapde liye hai ki bas puchho mat..!

Husband: Shukar hai tumhe mera khayal to Aaya,
Lao dikhao.

Wife: Abhi pehen ke Aati hoon...



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खवाहिश नही मुझे मशहुर होने की।
आप मुझे पहचानते हो बस इतना ही काफी है।
अच्छे ने अच्छा और बुरे ने बुरा जाना मुझे।
क्यों की जीसकी जीतनी जरुरत थी उसने उतना ही पहचाना मुझे।
ज़िन्दगी का फ़लसफ़ा भी कितना अजीब है,
शामें कटती नहीं, और साल गुज़रते चले जा रहे हैं....!!
एक अजीब सी दौड़ है ये ज़िन्दगी,
जीत जाओ तो कई अपने पीछे छूट जाते हैं,
और हार जाओ तो अपने ही पीछे छोड़ जाते हैं।.

Todays wife special jokes

जब कन्या अपने मां, बाप के घर होती है, तब तो वो रानी जैसी होती है,
          
          
          
जब शादी होकर ससूराल जाती है, तो लक्ष्मी बनकर जाती है,
         💴💶

और ससूराल मे काम करते करते बाई बन जाती है.


इसी तरह से लडकीया रानी-लक्ष्मी-बाई बन जाती है !!!! 
😆😆

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After massive demands from all husbands..........

A new app called 'Panic' is launched for smart phones..

You just say 'Wife' and it closes all websites, hides all chats, hide all special folders and puts your wife's photograph as a wallpaper.


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Aao Wife ki nazar se duniya ko dekho..
🔰World ka sab se perfect man
-uska daddy.
🔰World ki sabse pyari aurat
-uski maa
🔰World ki sabse akkalmand aurat
-woh khud
🔰World ka sabse dukhi pati
-uska bhai.
🔰World ka sabse sundr ladka
-uska beta
🔰World ka sabse Nasibdar aadmi
-uski behan ka pati.
🔰World ki sabse badi gawar aurat
-uski saas.
🔰Aur dunia ka sabse kharab, nikamma, selfish, jhootha, kanjus, bekar aadmi
👨-YE BHI LIKHNA PADEGA KYA?😜

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2010- kya aapke toothpaste mein namak hai??

2013- kya aapke toothpaste mein namak or nimbu hai??

2016- kya aapke toothpaste mein namak, nimbu or chatmasala hai???
.
.
.
2020- Colgate Dal fry special, Colgate butter masala, Colgate lemon tea flavor, Colgate mix veg, Spicy Colgate, Colgate butter chicken flavor....
.
.
.
.
.
2021- kya aapke muh mein dant hain??
..
NAHI!!!

To le aaiye ready made Colgate teeth.. 
😆😀

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Ladies u will love this- -

Parents vs In-Laws:

Parents r upset if their call wakes u up
inlaws r upset if they find u sleeping,

parents ask what u'll have for breakfast
inlaws ask what u'll make for breakfast,

Parents will hide ur faults
Inlaws will tell them to all,

Parents will first ask about u,
Inlaws will ask about everything but not abt u.

Parents r great at doing things 4 u,
Inlaws r great at delegating things to u,

Parents will appreciate the little u do
Inlaws will complain about the little that's left to do.

Parents r happy when u
buy something new
Inlaws will frown at every expense u do.

Phir kehte hain, muje Mummy aur papa bulao......

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उपवास नयी स्टाईल में एक दिन रहकर देखों इन सबके
बिना --
कम्प्यूटर
मोबाइल
फेसबुक
बिजली
इन्टरनेट
बाईक
व्हाट्सअप
टी वी
ये सब छोड़कर एक दिन उपवास करके देखों भगवान खुद
धरती पर आकर कहेंगे बस कर पगले अब रूलायेगा क्या..!!!!

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Solve this... for e.g
24 H in a D.
Ans.: 24 hours in a day.

1) 64 S on CB
2) 26 L of the A
3) 7 D of the W
4) 7 W of the W
5) 12 S of the Z
6) 52 C in a P
7) 18 H on a G C
8) 5 F on a H
9) 206 B in a B
10) 6 B in a O

Answering any 7, means your IQ is pretty high.

Issstyle...

दुनिया मे सिर्फ दो ही चीज मशहूर है...तेरे भाई का स्टाईल 😎 और तेरी भाभी की स्माईल ☺️

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जब भी खुद की खूबसूरती पर घमंड होने लगे
.......
.........
..........
अपना आधार कार्ड वाला फोटो देख लेना.😎

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Breaking News-
गणपति बप्पा के आगमन के मद्देनजर शहर भर में सड़कों की धुलाई शुरू । इंद्र देव ने नगर निगम पर अविश्वास व्यक्त करते हुए कमान अपने हाथों में ली

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एक आदमी इंदौर के एक
अस्पताल में अंतिम साँसे गिन
रहा था ।
उसके पास उसकी पत्नी,बच्चे
एवं नर्स खड़े थे।
आदमी अपने बड़े पुत्र से : तुम
मेरे साकेत वाले 15 बंगले ले लो।
पुत्री से : तुम मेरे विजय नगर
वाले 8 बंगले ले लो।
छोटे पुत्र से : तुम मेरे सबसे छोटे
और प्रिय बेटे हो मैं तुम्हारा भविष्य
उज्जवल देखना चाहता हूँ इसलिए
तुम मेरे जवाहर मार्ग वाले 20
ऑफिस ले लो।
पत्नी से : तुम मेरे पलासिया
वाली बिल्डिंगों के सभी 11
फ्लैट ले लो।
पास में खड़ी नर्स प्रभावित होते
हुए पत्नी से बोली आप बहुत ही
भाग्यशाली है की आपको इतने
अमिर पति मिले जो आपको
इतनी सारी जायदाद देकर जा
रहे है।
पत्नी नर्स से बोली
कौन अमीर, कौनसी जायदाद,
अरे ये तो दूध वाले हैं और हम
सबको जिम्मेदारियां दे रहे है....
सुबह सुवह दूध पहुँचाने की।



Faltoo laffad jokes

Ek magic.
...

Ek Test jo bataayega ki Aapko Khaane me Kya Pasand hai ??

Stepwise karte jana ....

1 se 9 tak koi ek Number sochiye !!!

Soch liya ??

Ab 3 se Multiply kariye !!

Ab ussme 3 Add kariye !!

Phir 3 se Multiply kariye !!

Ab jo Answer aaye usski Dono Digit ko Aapas me Plus kare .......

And,

Ab Check kariye !!!!!!!

1. Rajma 

2. Paneer 

3. Chicken 🍗

4. Pizza 🍕

5. Burger 

6. Gulab Jamun 

7. Chowmein 

8. Ice Cream 🍨

9. Gobar 

Kya Hua ?????

Chhi....Chhi....Chhi......

Pata nahi kaise Khaa lete ho ???

Ab Dusra Number soch ke Dubara mat karna Plzzzz .....
Haa haa haa
😆😆😆

Market me Naya hai,
Jaldi Forward Kariye ......

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Aapko meri konsi aadat kharaab lagti hai?

( ';')
<)(>
_/ L
Khabardaar,

Jawaab dene wale
apni maut k khud zimmedar honge."

Jokes and shaayri...

Hi dear...!
This is a friendly reminder about drinking and driving ...................... I went out last night and after drinking i decided and left my car at the pub and took the bus home................... I was really proud of my self dis morning,,,,,, i had never driven a bus before !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😜!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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कहते हैं

जो हँसा, उसका घर बसा़।

पर जिसका घर बसा, उससे पूछो......

वह फिर कब हँसा??


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Super line..

मुश्किलें केवल बहतरीन लोगों
के हिस्से में ही आती हैं .!!!!
क्यूंकि वो लोग ही उसे बेहतरीन
तरीके से अंजाम देने की ताकत
रखते हैं !!

रख हौंसला वो मंज़र भी आयेगा;
प्यासे के पास चलकर समंदर भी
आयेगा; !!

थक कर ना बैठ अए मंजिल के
मुसाफ़िर;मंजिल भी मिलेगी और
जीने का मजा भी आयेगा !!!

Friday, August 29, 2014

The jumping pumping lady...

Beautiful imagesof lord ganesha...

Who is that who got talent

Ganesha ganesha...

Videodekho mast raho...

Khatrnaak images on display....

Gam ganpataaye namah....

Pjs, questions, jokes of ias exam

Pj of the year
Agar aapki aankhien kaali kaali hai toh aapka naam "RURU " hai......

Kaise

"Yeh kaali kaali aankhien,
Tu RURU"......

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On this Ganesh Chaturthi,
May the husband of 'Riddhi' and 'Siddhi' bless the husbands of all the 'Ziddis'.


'-------------------------------------------------------.
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Its a BIG challenge 4 all :

🌼🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🐝

Guess this killer hindi song ?
Forward to all groups to get answer...

Solve this..
◻➕◻➕◻➕◻➕◻=30
Fill the boxes using (1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15)
U can also repeat the numbers..This question came in UPSC Final Exams held in Dec '13...... You will be glad to note that only One person could solve it. Note:no box will empt

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Khud pe barosa hai to khuda tere sath he, Apno pe barosa he to har dua tere sath he,
Zindagi se harna mat mayur mere yaar,
Zamana ho na ho ye dost tere sath he.

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आपको और आपके परिवार को गणेश चतुर्थी की हार्दिक शुभकामना.. !!!!गणपति बाप्पा मोरया!!!! मंगल मूर्ति मोरया !!!!

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2 challenge n 2 jokes

फ़िक्र-ए-रोज़गार ने फासले बड़ा दिए...
वरना, सब यार एक साथ थे,

अभी कल ही की तो बात है !!!
चले तो थे दोस्तों का पूरा काफिला ले कर...

पर आधे 'जुदा' हो गए और आधे 'खुदा' हो गए...
कुछ 'गुमशुदा' तो कुछ 'शादीशुदा' हो गए !

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Answer this question.
A man lives on the 110 th floor of a high rise bldn.
Daily he uses lift to come down.bt when hi returns to his flat he uses lift upto 55 floor n then he go by stairs.
Now the questn is why he doesnt use lift upto 110 floor.????

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गणेश चतुर्थी के पावन पर्व पर;
विघ्नहर्ता को आओ सब करें नमन;
हर कोई हो स्नेह से बंधा;
मन की भक्ति कर दे अर्पण।
गणेश चतुर्थी की शुभ कामनायें!

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In a burned jungle.there is a dead body of a man who is wearing swiming suit.there is no water storage in a diameter of 1000 km.
Hw he came there??

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Indore meri jaan



Jokes of butt

One day a Professor
was talking about marriage in d class...

Professor :
What kind of
Wife would
you like Johnny?

Johnny : I would want a wife like the moon...

Professor : Wow !!
what a choice...
So you want her to be Cool & Calm
like the moon? 

Johnny : No, no...

Professor : oh so u
want her to be
Round and white? 🌕

Johny: No, no...

Professor : Oh, so u
want her to be
Fair and Beautiful
like d moon? 🌝

Johny: No, no...
I want her to be Exactly like
MOON 🌕
Just Arrive at Night
and Disappear in the Morning;)
🌜🌛....
Professor Behosh

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Dont laugh alone pass it on....

Wife is angry as hubby stands too close to a beautiful girl in bus, a few seconds later the girl slaps him for pinching.

Hubby to wife: I swear, I didn't .

Wife: I know, I did .

More jokes to send...

दिल मे उतर जाने की आदत हे मेरी,
अलग पहचान बनाने की आदत हे मेरी,
जितना गहरा जख्म कोई देता हे मुझे,
उतना ही मीठा मुस्कूराने की आदत हे मेरी.

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Guys please read this

This is quite interesting.

(To men) Please take time to ponder. 😕

(To women) Just enjoy the story. 😋

Young King Arthur was ambushed and
imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring
kingdom.
The monarch could have killed him but was
moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the
monarch offered him his freedom, as long as
he could answer a very difficult question.
Arthur would have a year to figure out the
answer and, if after a year, he still had no
answer, he would be put to death.
The question was:
*What do women really want?*
Such a question would perplex even the most
knowledgeable man. And to young Arthur, it
seemed an impossible query. But, since it was
better than death, he accepted the monarch's
proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll
everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise
men, and even the court jester. He spoke with
everyone, but no one could give him a
satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old
witch, for only she would have the answer. But
the price would be high as the witch was
famous throughout the kingdom for the
exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had
no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed
to answer the question, but first he would have
to agree to her price.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot,
the most noble of the Knights of the Round
Table, and Arthur's closest friend. Young Arthur
was horrified.
She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only
one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene
noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant
creature in all his life. He refused to force his
friend to marry her and endure such a terrible
burden.
But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal,
spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big
of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And
the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a
wedding was proclaimed and the witch
answered.
Arthur's question thus:
"What a woman really wants?"
She said, "A woman wants to be in charge of
her own life."
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that
the witch had uttered a great truth, and that
Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was.
The neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his
freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a
wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and,
Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific
experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a
sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen
was sitting by the bed.
The astounded Lancelot asked what had
happened. The beauty replied that since he
had been so kind to her when she appeared as
a witch, she would henceforth become her
horrible and deformed self only half the time,
and be the beautiful maiden the other half.
"Which would you prefer?" She asked him.
"BEUATIFUL during the DAY... OR at NIGHT?"
Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day, he could have a beautiful
woman to show off to his friends, but at night,
in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
OR,
would he prefer having a hideous witch during
the day? But by night a beautiful woman for
him to enjoy wondrous moments with?
(If you are a man reading this) What would
YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this) What would
YOUR MAN'S choice be?
And Lancelot's choice is given below...
BUT, please make YOUR choice first before you
scroll down below!
OKAY?

Knowing the answer the witch gave to Arthur
for his question, Sir Lancelot said that he
would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she
would be beautiful all the time, because he had
respected her enough to let her be in charge
of her own life.
Now, what is the moral to this
The moral is...
1. There is 'witch' in every woman, no matter
how beautiful she is.
2. If you don't let a woman have her own way,
things are going to get ugly.
So, be careful how you treat a woman and
always remember:
IT IS EITHER "HER WAY"
OR IT IS "NO WAY"!!! 😛

New ecicting bad jokes

......

An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having 2 wives.
A- Monopoly should be broken.
B- Competition improves the quality of service.
If u have 1 wife, She fights with u!
If u have 2 wives, They will fight for u!

Feel the difference & decide

Sender not responsible for any side effects.

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Today Virat Kohli went for lunch to a Patel businessman's home in London. The host's 10 year old son says "Virat, Vande Mataram". Virat says "Mr. Patel, your son is very patriotic despite having been born outside India!" Mr. Patel replies: "He meant One Day ma to ram!"

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Today Alia Bhatt went to a dentist because her Bluetooth was not working.

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Today Alia Bhatt went to a dentist because her Bluetooth was not working. 
'आऊ!'

'Woww!'

'आऊ!'

'Woww!'

'आऊ!'

'Woww!'

.
.
.
.
.

- Shakti Kapoor & Saif Ali Khan discussing an important matter. 

Itna saahas ki poora message pad sakte ho

Very nyc story.....

1 badshah apne
sipahiyo ke sath ek
talab par nahane ke
liye gaya

waha
kuch ladkiya pehle se
naha rahi thi

badshah ki sawari
aate dekh wo sari
bahar aa gayi

unme
se ek ladki
badshah ko pasand
aa gayi..!!

Badshah apne mahel
wapas
aaya, lekin badshah ki
nazro ke
samne bar bar usi
ladki ki surat aa
rahi thi,

uska mann
kisi kaam me
nahi lag raha tha,

raat hui .....

sari raat
badshah usi ladki ke
bare me sochta
raha,

subah usne
apne sipahiyo ko
hukm diya
"jao pata
karo wo ladki
kaha rehti
hai",

sipahiyo ne pata
lagaya,

Uss ladki ka baap
sunaar tha,

badshah ne sunaar
ko darbar me
bulaya.

4 din guzarne k baad
bhi sunar
badshah k darbar me
nahi
aya,

badshah ne
dubara bulawa
bheja,

is bar 8 din
guzar gaye wo
nahi aaya,

badshah ko
gussa aa gaya
aur usne sunar ko
giraftar karne k
liye Sipahi bheje.

Jab woh Sunar k ghar
pahuche to
ghar ko Tala laga hua
tha,

Badshah ne Sipahiyon
ko Hukm diya
ki Sunaar ko dhundo.

Sipahiyo ne sunar ko
har jagah
dhunda lekin wo unko
kahi nhi mila.

Fir unhone ek tarkeeb
nikali aur
ailaan kiya ke jo bhi
sunaar ko
dhundne me madat
karega use 1kg
sona diya jayega.

ek
hafta guzar
gaya,
Fir bhi sunaar nahi
mila.

Fir ailaan kiya gaya ki
jo bhi sunaar
ko chupne me madat
karega use
sooli pe chadaya
jayega.

aur ek hafta
guzar gaya,
Fir bhi sunaar nahi
mila.

Fir 1 mahina guzar
gya fir bhi sunar
nhi mila

Fir raja ne ailaan kiya
ki agar sunar
nhi mila toh woh pure
rajya ko saja

dega fir bhi sunar
nahi mila.

Aakhir mei raja ne
aas paas ke kahi
rajyo ke raja o se
madat maangi,

Unhone bhi sunar ko
apne apne
rajya mei dhoonda fir
sunar nhi
mila.

Badshah mayus ho
gaya,

ek din
badshah ne ek sapna
dekha sapne
me usi taalab ko
dekha aur sapne
me hi daud kar us
taalab ke pas
gaya lekin waha bhi
koi nahi
tha,

udas hokar jab
piche palta to ek
gyani baba nazar
aaye unhone nadi
ko lag kar ek jhopde
ki taraf ishara
kiya aur kaha "tujhe
jiski talash hai
wo wahi hai",

badshah
chaunk kar
nind se utha aur apne
sipahiyo ko
lekar us talab ke pas
gaya,

waha wo
sapne wala jhopda
use nazar
aaya,

badshah khush
ho gaya, aur jab
jhopde me ghusa to
ek ladki aur aur
ek boodha aadmi
nazar aaye,

lekin
wo ladki badsurat thi
aur uska baap
bhikhari tha.

Ab bhi sunar nahi
mila,

Aakhir kar tang aakar
badshah ne
apne sipahiyo ko
Nakara karar diya
aur case CBI ko
saunp diya,

Phir bhi SUNAR nahi
MILA,

Aur aakhir Raja
ka,
uske siphaiyon
ka,
dusre rajya walo
ka
aur CBI walo
ka Sunar ko dhundne
me sara Waqt
aise barbad hua
jaise
Aap ka is
message ko padhne
me hua...

jis ka koi matlab nahi.

Hasna mat, mere
sath bhi aisa hua
tha..!!

kisi aur ko bhej ke
badla le lo!

Sunar mil jae to bata
dena ......

uski
ladki bahut khubsurat
hai ..!

Another challenge fow whats app user...

🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑
. Is swaal ka jwaab de dia to hm aapko whtsapp king kahenge.

Q- Baap ne beti ko 1gift diya Or kaha bhuk lage to kha lena... Pyas lage to pi lena or thand lage to jala lena... ye gift kya he
challenge for u !!👈👍
"Challange For all group
Time limit 1days
🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒
क्या फायदा
10th, 12th, BA, BSC, B.Tech,
M.Tech, B.Com, M.Com, MBA,
LLB, MBBS, CA करने का....?
जब आखिर मेँ
ये ही पता ना चले कि
.

गोलगप्पे और जलेबी को
अंग्रेजी मेँ क्या कहते हैँ...?
आपको पता हो तो बताओ....!!
🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑
. Is swaal ka jwaab de dia to hm aapko whtsapp king kahenge.

Q-ek chij aeisi h jo

sukhi ho to 2kg.
gili ho to 1kg.
or
jal jae to 3kg.

its challenge for u !!👈👍
"Challange For all group
Time limit 1days
🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒
Dimag hai to
answer do!

Vo kya chiz hai

jo saal me 1 bar,
mahine me 2 bar,

hafte me 4 bar,
aur din me 6 bar
aati hai..?

It's challange 4 u.
Ans me..?..
It's Challenge 4 u ❓
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reply in 24 Hours.

You can Send this SMS to All ur Friends.

ur Time Start Now.

Bade logo ka video..

Who is Dhyaanchand & Why People are asking Bharatratna for him..?

1)Before independence, when INDIA went on a tour, INDIA Won 3 Olympic Gold medals in Hockey. In olympic Games we played 48 games and Won all of them.!

2)INDIA was unbeatable in hockey for 20 years.
We defeated America in all the matches and since than America had banned Hockey for the next few years.
Can you imagine what an achievement it was.!

3) Shree Dhyaanchand was among those whom Hitler was a fan of, and was requested to accept German citizenship and play for Germany & in return he will get as much money as he wanted and he will head the German Army.!
But He refused saying he "does not play for money but for Country."!

4) How he made Hitler his fan..?
When he went to Germany for Hockey World Cup, he was injured by the German Goal Keeper.!
In return, he ordered his team mates to take revenge..!
Can you imagine someone challenging German citizen in front of Hitler..!
He took the ball past the German Goal keeper, but didn't score a Goal.
This was the biggest shame for Germany and Hitler was impressed by his answer..!

5) There was a match When he didn't Score a Single Goal. On this he argued with match referee that the Goal post length is short because he couldn't score a Goal.
When checked, this was found correct and goal post length was increased & latter he scored 8 goals..!

6) HE WAS THE ONLY INDIAN WHO HOISTED INDIAN FLAG BEFORE INDEPENDENCE NOT ONLY IN INDIA BUT IN GERMANY..!
WE WERE RULED BY BRITISHERS AND NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE OUT FLAG BUT HE HID THAT IN HIS NIGHT DRESS AND TOOK IT TO GERMANY.
IT REQUIRES A LOT OF GUTS.!
ON THIS BRITISHERS ANNOUNCED IMPRISONMENT BUT HITLER DIDN'T LET THIS HAPPEN.!

7) During his last days, he was so poor that he didn't have money for food. Again, he was offered a Coachs post by America and Germany. But he refused saying "if he teaches Hockey to them, then INDIA will no more be a Champion in Hockey.Its an irony that our own Govt didn't offer him anything & it was the INDIAN ARMY only which helped him.!

8) Once, he went to see a hockey match at Ahemadabad, but was not allowed in to the stadium because no one recognized him..? That game was attended by Jawaharlal Nehru.!

9) Finally Cricket Icon Sir Don Bradman said "I'm a fan of Dhyaanchand & he scores Goals more easily than I Score runs.!"

Do you think he should be the 1st Sportsman for whom all the rules should have been amended and awarded "BHARAT RATNA"

IT IS EQUALLY SHOCKING THAT HE IS NOT A BHARAT RATNA AS PER OUR GOVT, BUT MORE THAN 50 COUNTRIES HAVE AWARDED HIM WITH MORE THAN 400 AWARDS.

THIS IS BEFORE INDEPENDENCE,
WHAT A STRUGGLE Real hero named Major Dhyaan Chand.

HATS OFF SIR....

Aap log faltu message to bahut forward karte honge, par agar sachche Bharatiya ho to is message ko forward karo.
🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳

Who is who....

Who is Dhyaanchand & Why People are asking Bharatratna for him..?

1)Before independence, when INDIA went on a tour, INDIA Won 3 Olympic Gold medals in Hockey. In olympic Games we played 48 games and Won all of them.!

2)INDIA was unbeatable in hockey for 20 years.
We defeated America in all the matches and since than America had banned Hockey for the next few years.
Can you imagine what an achievement it was.!

9) Finally Cricket Icon Sir Don Bradman said "I'm a fan of Dhyaanchand & he scores Goals more easily than I Score runs.!"

Do you think he should be the 1st Sportsman for whom all the rules should have been amended and awarded "BHARAT RATNA"

IT IS EQUALLY SHOCKING THAT HE IS NOT A BHARAT RATNA AS PER OUR GOVT, BUT MORE THAN 50 COUNTRIES HAVE AWARDED HIM WITH MORE THAN 400 AWARDS.

THIS IS BEFORE INDEPENDENCE,
WHAT A STRUGGLE Real hero named Major Dhyaan Chand.

HATS OFF SIR....

Aap log faltu message to bahut forward karte honge, par agar sachche Bharatiya ho to is message ko forward karo.
🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳

Hanso...

Fantastic one

Santa: Yaar! Main jo bhi kaam shuru krta hoon ,Meri biwi beech mein aa jati hain

Banta :- Tu Truck chala kar dekh,Shayad Kismat Sath de de😆😆😆😆😆

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Real reason why whatsapp is valued at 19 billion dollars....
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Whatsapp cracked the biggest problem of humanity - " ladies baat bhi kar le aur awaaz bhi na ho "


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सबसे छोटी कविता...
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जिन्दगी एक जंग है,
जबतक बीवी संग है... .

Jokes bechaar laachaar

Arctic Ocean Missing from Planet Earth.
Rumours are Rajni has accepted the Ice Bucket Challenge...

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THINK – Reality doesn't bite. Our recognition of our misplaced perception of reality, does

LAUGH – Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes…………… That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you also have their shoes………………

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Selfie Is The Proof That Smartphones And
Internet Have Made People So Alone That They
Don't Find A Friend Who Can Take A Pic..!!😂😂😂

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बेजान चीज़ो को बदनाम करने के तरीके कितने आसान होते है ;

लोग सुनते है छुप छुप के बाते , और कहते है के दीवारो के भी कान होते हैं

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दुनिया मे वो कौन सी चीज है जो सबसे जायदा बार फूलती है फ़िर भी उसके आकार में कोई परिवर्तन नहीं होता ?????
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बीवी का थोबड़ा ...

😋

Don't Laugh alone

A funny bunny story...

I was eating one plate idly at hotel. I was very hungry after eating one idly stomach was full. I was thinking What to do with remaining one idly...
I took my phone out and clicked some pics of idly and placed a free post on olx.com.. The buyers were sitting in next table only... In 5 min I sold my idly... in that money I ordered one Chota tea.... Thanks to olx 😎

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एक बेहतरीन बोध कथा :

एक मनोवैज्ञानिक स्ट्रेस मॅनेजमेंट के बारे में, अपने दर्शकों से मुखातिब था..

उसने पानी से भरा एक ग्लास उठाया..,

सभी ने समझा की अब "आधा खाली या आधा भरा है".. यही पुछा और समझाया जाएगा..

मगर मनोवैज्ञानिक ने पूछा..
कितना वजन होगा इस ग्लास में भरे पानी का..??

सभी ने.. 300 से 400 ग्राम तक अंदाज बताया..

मनोवैज्ञानिक ने कहा.. कुछ भी वजन मान लो.. फर्क नहीं पड़ता...
फर्क इस बात का पड़ता है.. की मैं कितने देर तक इसे उठाए रखता हूँ. ।

अगर मैं इस ग्लास को एक मिनट तक उठाए रखता हूँ.. तो क्या होगा?

शायद कुछ भी नहीं..

अगर मैं इस ग्लास को एक घंटे तक उठाए रखता हूँ.. तो क्या होगा?

मेरे हाथ में दर्द होने लगे.. और शायद अकड़ भी जाए.

अब अगर मैं इस ग्लास को एक दिन तक उठाए रखता हूँ.. तो ? ?

मेरा हाथ.. यकीनऩ, बेहद दर्दनाक हालत में होगा, हाथ पॅरालाईज भी हो सकता है और मैं हाथ को हिलाने तक में असमर्थ हो जाऊंगा..

लेकिन.. इन तीनों परिस्थिति में ग्लास के पानी का वजन न कम हुआ.. न ज्यादा.
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चिंता और दुःख का भी जीवन में यही परिणाम है।

यदि आप अपने मन में इन्हें एक मिनट के लिए रखेंगे..

आप पर कोई दुष्परिणाम नहीं होगा..

यदि आप अपने मन में इन्हें एक घंटे के लिए रखेंगे..

आप दर्द और परेशानी महसूस करने लगोगे..

लेकिन यदि आप अपने मन में इन्हें पुरा पुरा दिन बिठाए रखेंगे..

ये चिंता और दुःख..
हमारा जीना हराम कर देगा..
हमें पॅरालाईज कर के कुछ भी सोचने - समझने में हमें असमर्थ कर देगा..

और याद रहे..
इन तीनों परिस्थितियों में चिंता और दुःख.. जितना था.., उतना ही रहेगा..
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इसलिए.. यदि हो सके तो..
अपने चिंता और दुःख से भरे "ग्लास" को...
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एक मिनट के बाद..
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नीचे रखना न भुलें..
💭💭💭💭💭💭💭